How I Lost My Mind and Regained It

The day I lost it all was February 12th 2015. Yes, just over a week ago tragedy struck. The Universe hit me with all its might.

I sunk to my knees and screamed at the heavens, “Whyyyy?!” off the top my lungs.

It wasn’t fair. All of life just didn’t seem fair.

How could this have happened to me? What did I do to deserve this? Wild thoughts raced through my mind.

I searched every corner of the world wide web looking for answers, searching for hope.

I had to face it, my life as I knew it, was over.

Again, I turned to the internet to connect with my online support group. I explained how the past week had put me in a chokehold and depleted me of life.

Do you happen to be an Aquarius? Some body asked. Aquarius’ got hit pretty hard this past Mercury Retrograde.

Yes, in fact I do happen to be an Aquarius. This only confirmed my belief that the Universe was conspiring against me. Damn you, Mercury!

The next few days were a big blur of grief. I laid on my couch for a few days straight, showering was just not a priority, and fully engaged in my Hart of Dixie marathon. I balled my eyes out. It all just didn’t seem fair.

At times hope would pop its pretty little head in and I felt optimistic about the future then a dark cloud of negativity would swoop in and blocked any rays of hope.

Then it hit me, I help my clients through moments like this. I am the one people call when sh*t hits the fan. I hold the answers to this madness, yet here I am throwing myself a self-pity party.

Yes, my computer crashed and took months and months of sweat and blood with it. Yes, potentially I could have lost the digital program I was about to roll out next month and the all the cool giveaways I had in store for my awesome readers. Yes, the screen to my phone shattered. Yes, magically all the batteries to my vlogging camera malfunctioned. Yes, I live in the Bahamas and have to fly to the States to fix all of this. Yes, this is all going to be a huge unexpected expense. Yes, I have burned bridges due to this tragedy BUT at the end of the day life goes on.

I could try to pause life here. I could sulk for eternity but none of those things are going to get me what I want, which is to serve others and help them feel better. I certainly can’t feel help others when I feel like poop myself.

So I did the only thing I really know what to do in this kind of situation. I rolled up my sleeves and got to work on my emotional wellbeing.

My work included life coaching myself out of this funk.

I thought, how would I help a client shift their perspective if they had just experienced the loss of something they had put all their heart and soul into?

I know that the key to a “reframe” (NLP lingo for seeing things different) is to ask good questions. So I asked myself:

What did you learn about this?

What is good about this situation?

How could you “fix” this problem and make it fun?

I answered:

I learned to backup EVERYTHING that is important to me.

The good thing about this situation is that if I really did lose all my hard work, then I could take this opportunity to reinvent myself and rebrand my business.

I could fix this problem and make it fun by getting creative and getting ideas from readers and friends.

Then all the positive thoughts started to pour in. I could use this as an opportunity to come back stronger and better. This is my chance to be bigger and bolder.

I can say that part of me still felt a loss but a bigger part of me felt hopeful and motivated. Like I would tell any client suffering through a misfortune, action is the key to success. Baby steps will get me not only back to where I was, but even further.

Baby step also include emotional progress. It would be absurd to force myself to be okay from one minute to the next. It all takes time and effort.

So that is the story. I will be in Houston next week with a prognosis on my Macbook. I just know that if the guy (or girl I don’t discriminate) at the Genius Bar says my laptop is toast, then I know that life goes and that I will go on with it one baby step at a time.

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