Kiss Your Insecurities GoodBye- I’ll Show You How!

 Oh c’mon admit it…You have looked in the mirror and winced when you looked at your belly or thighs.  Or perhaps you passed on a great opportunity because you just didn’t feel good enough for it.  Maybe you are feeling doomed to ever find “the one.”

 Yes, you have heard the cure-all phrase, “You should think positive… blah blah blah.”  But simply thinking positive has never taken some of these icky thoughts out of your brain.  Thinking positive may have even frustrated you more.  It may have felt like you were denying yourself from some type of “truth.”

I am here to tell you the truth about your insecurities, they are just stories.  Nothing but old stories that you have habitually engraved in the depths of your subconscious mind year after year.

We are all storytellers.  We may or may not see ourselves as such, but we are.  We consciously and subconsciously create stories about our lives, our friends, our jobs, past experiences, and even our looks.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?  What do you think about the person staring back at you?  Pick something about yourself that you do not like.  Whether it is a personality trait or physical characteristic.

Got it?  Okay now ask yourself what is the story you have been telling yourself about that particular thing?  How exactly did you come to not liking that about yourself?

Perhaps you are comparing yourself to someone else.  Maybe you have highly unrealistic expectations on how you should look like or be.  The stronger you dislike something about yourself, the more power you have given to that story about why you don’t like that particular thing.

You maybe thinking, “Wait a minute… the way I feel about myself has nothing to with any stories.”  Well in fact yes, you can condition your brain to trigger certain reactions or emotions when you think of a particular thing.

When you repeatedly think of something as negative your brain starts forming pathways that will facilitate negative response every time you see of thing of that particular thing.  Of course, the more you train your brain to think a certain way the more automatic the feelings you have attached to those thoughts will be.  True story.  You can look this up.

So every time you look in the mirror and focus on all the things you dislike about yourself you are strengthening those negative emotions.

The good news is that you can un-condition your brain from thinking negatively. The same way you got yourself into boiling water is the same way you can get yourself out of it. All you have to do is re-write your old story and turn it into an empowering story.

So when you look in the mirror and begin to hate (insert insecurity here) you have the opportunity to take your first step towards healthy conditioning by telling yourself that you are willing to find love in your insecurity and see things differently.  Then let go of all judgment and think of reasons to fall in love with your traits.

Whenever you start hearing the Negative Nancy in your head going off, laugh at the absurdities you are hearing.  Yes, literally laugh! This will help interrupt the negative connections and redirect them.  Then enjoy telling your more empowering story and you will see how eventually her voice will be nothing but a whisper.

Un-conditioning will take time so be patient.  You will be re-wiring your brain so you will also need to be consistent with your thoughts.  Surround yourself with supportive people and watch yourself grow.

If you read this far it means something inside of you wants you to change.  Honor that thing inside that wants a better future.


Sol Ballard





  • quetoqua

    Reply Reply February 20, 2014

    Inspiring thought! Un-condition is the way to go! And the key, like you said, is to be surrounded by supportive family and friends!
    Thank You Sol!!!!!

  • Suzanne

    Reply Reply August 28, 2016

    Hi Sol
    Love this post.I have been telling myself I am ugly for years.When I tell myself I am not I don’t believe it.How do you change your story when you don’t believe?

    • solballard

      Reply Reply September 10, 2016

      Suzanne! Glad you loved the post. The reason you don’t believe yourself is because your “I’m ugly” story has been running the show for years and you can’t just come in and tell your mind a different belief and expect to override that story within days. You see, you become what you think about most of the time. If you keep telling yourself you’re ugly, you become a person who blocks their beauty from shining through.

      So to begin, become aware of when you’re telling yourself the story and don’t judge yourself when you do, just say, “I’m willing to see myself differently.” That way you’re not trying to override years of the same story in one thought but you begin to open your mind to new ways of thinking. You start to train your mind to understand that there is another perspective then the one you have self-appointed in the past.

      Once you become open to the idea that perhaps there is a different way of seeing yourself, look for features about yourself that you like. Place your focus on what you already accept about yourself and little by little expand that acceptance to the features that may have originally disliked.

      For me, acceptance was key. I realized that I was beautiful in my own way. That my nose made me who I was. That my face and body was created as it should be and if anything needed to have been different then it would’ve been. When I came to that realization, I saw beauty in every imperfection.

      Years later, I came to an even bigger realization. I realized that my body is a sacred vessel that holds my spirit. Who am I to judge it? My nose allows me to breathe. My legs carry me where I need to go. My eyes give me the gift of sight. I am grateful! They are beautiful just as they are! I need to love every feature. I need to love my body and not judge it. It’s here to help me through this journey on earth. Why bash myself and make this journey harder that it should be when I can love and accept myself each and every single day?

      So allow yourself to see things differently. Appreciate your face and body for what it provides you with. Become your own loving companion and lift yourself up instead of bringing yourself down. This may not happen overnight but vow to take a step towards self-acceptance each and every single day.

      I hope this helps!


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