5 Steps Towards Forgiving Yourself

by Sol Ballard | Follow on Instagram @solballard

So you effed up big time. You can’t stop thinking about the damage that you may have caused. Maybe you are even beating yourself up about it on the daily.

Don’t sweat it, we ALL flub at one point or another. As mentioned in my About The Human page, I became an expert at making mistakes at an early age. Some of these mistakes could have landed me prison time or worse, they could’ve cost me my life. Yikes!

Later on, I became a master of forgiving myself. It was essential in order for me to move on and make progress.

If guilt and shame are eating you up, here are some powerful steps to guide you:

  1. Accept yourself and the deed. It happened. It’s a done deal. Unless you have a time machine or one of those flashy pens from Men In Black that erases memories, there is no going back. So putting the ordeal on replay will do more damage than good. So be gentle with yourself and know it is all part of the past now.

The fact that you are even reading this post tells me you are on a pursuit of happiness. Which means that you are      actively moving your life forward. So accept what happened as a teaching moment in your life, so that you can make even more meaningful progress.

  1. Understand yourself. NLP teaches that people do the best they can with the resources they have available. You did what you thought was your only option. Now that you can think things clearer you know that you could have done things differently.

Get to know yourself and see what triggered you to do what you did. What part of you needs to be healed so that youWhatever you did, forgive yourself have a better re-action in the future?

  1. Make things right. So you messed up, that doesn’t make you the big bad wolf. The difference between you and a real big bad wolf is that when you mess things up, you find the best way to make things right.

Making things right could even be a promise to yourself that in the future you will choose your words or actions differently.

Also, focus on all the good that you do. This incident does not define you.

  1. Author a new autobiography. When we are in the wrong it’s easy to spiral into self-pity and say things like, why can’t I do anything right? I always mess everything up!

I invite you to tell a new story. You’re new story can be, When I make a mistake I learn from it, make it right, and keep moving forward. Use this or any new empowering story of your choice. The important thing here is that you break out of limiting stories.

  1. Be your own guru. Imagine you are a world-class guru. You hold the answers to many of life’s challenges. People come from near and far to seek your wisdom. If you were this guru, what advice would you give yourself? Would it be one of finding inner peace and letting go? Would you ask yourself to choose love in this moment? Find the answer that best resonates with you and play it out!

If these steps seems like giant leaps to you right now, start off with baby steps. Every time you catch yourself thinking of the incident, say to yourself, “I am willing to see this differently.” Also, say this right before bed and when you wake-up so that you can awaken your unconscious mind that may be able to assist you to make progress.

Shame and guilt keep you stuck, but forgiveness sets you free. You deserve to be free.

So forgive you. C’mon, you know you want to!

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