How to deal with your “badittude”

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi


To piggy back on my last blog post-  I wanted to highlight the importance of honoring our feelings.  Although it is very important that we are completely aware of what we are thinking and that we strive for a better quality of thoughts, we cannot ignore negative emotions that we experience.  I have been guilty of denying any negative feelings and forcing myself to be positive and optimistic. The problem with this method is that we are no longer positive- we are in denial.

We all have those days when we feel like we cannot hold up any longer, when maintaining a smile is nearly impossible, and thinking positive is just not going to happen. It’s okay. It happens to the best of us. These feeling are simply guest as the above poem states- they are not here to stay.

Our negative feelings are just are important as our good feelings because through them, we can learn so much. Our feelings are our internal navigation system that tell us where to go.  When you experience depression, shame, malice, or any other negative feeling- don’t deny your feelings their stay in your mind, as Rumi says, invite them in.

Welcome these feelings in because it is on the other side of your feelings that you will find what you need.  When you are feeling down allow yourself to fully experience the feeling and be a good host.  Where did your visitor come from? Why is it here? What type of guest is it in your house? Can you challenge yourself to greet it at the door laughing?

I have found that when I take a moment to just be a good host to my visitors I begin to feel better.  I determine where they are coming from and why am I experiencing them, and I learn a backstory about them.  Negative emotions often stem from other emotions such as sadness, hopelessness, and loneliness.  By knowing the back story of my emotions I can be guided to cope with the parent emotion, and in turn I get rid of my “badittude”.

I realize that they may seem bad at first, but with careful attention and nurturing these crazy visitors will be tame and subside.  In the midst of an emotional meltdown- I have found these steps to work:

1.)    Breath deep- this one may seem obvious but sometimes we can get a little bit crazy because our brain is not getting the oxygen it needs. Breathing in deeply helps calm and relax you.

2.)    Don’t judge yourself- be nice to you! Everyone has a breakdown- you are human!

3.)    Accept- Come to terms that you are temporarily experiencing a “badittude” and that your little visitor will soon be    on its way.

4.)    Witness- how are these emotions affecting you? What provoked them?

I have found that to make changes in my life I have to do things I normally don’t do. I can’t continue doing what I am currently doing otherwise I will keep getting the same results.  Follow the steps above and watch how these tiny little steps can help create big change. By becoming the witness of our own emotions we will end up learning much more about ourselves than we ever imagined.  To take this to the next step- keep a log of every negative emotion that visits you. After a week, patterns in your thinking will be revealed that may astonish you. (Later I will share what I found on my log!)

I am grateful for ALL of my feelings and emotions because they remind me that I am alive. They remind me of my free will since I can change them at any time.  Through my feelings I can set the quality of life that I want to live! The best part is that no matter who is at the front door, I am able to welcome them with open arms.  Are you willing to make the necessary changes to evolve? How can you continue to make positive changes in your life? Let me know in the comments below!

by Sol Ballard

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