Here’s Why Perfection is Flawed

by Sol Ballard

In this world we live in today I realize how we have this insatiable need to have the perfect everything- wedding, cars, family, body, house, etc.

Heres what I learned from my first obsession with perfection and how flawed that way of thinking really is.

I was raised in an area where I was criticized and made fun of every day for the way that I looked. I experienced humiliating situations and my self-esteem was shot to the ground.

By my teenage years I tried to change almost every aspect of myself and I dreaded looking in the mirror.

“If only I could change my nose… and my hair…  or if I was a little bit taller and my body was more shapely…” I would say to myself, “….I would be perfect and THEN I can be happy.”

I felt that no matter what I achieved, I was never enough.

After hitting a handful of rock bottoms in my life, I decided to begin healing. I picked up a few acting classes as a hobby to get my mind off of all the madness.

I began to get involved in many student films and began shooting commercials that aired locally.

For some reason, while on set,  I always got asked if I was a model.

Strange, I thought to myself. How could I ever be confused for a model?

At the time I thought models were this physical representation of perfection.  I couldn’t have been further from the truth.

After being asked several times for a modeling portfolio by several different people in the industry, I finally womaned up and decided to put one together. When my pictures came in, I was so excited.

These pictures represented opportunity, possibility, evolution, and change for me. Could I, someone who had been criticized head to toe every day of my life ever be a model?

I was so happy when I saw these pictures that I immediately, with a huge smile on my face, showed them to someone who I thought was my friend and whose opinion I valued.

Alley3_Fotor_Collage

                              (The photos from back in the day)

He looked at them, wrinkled his forehead, let out a slight laugh, and in a tone as cold as ice said, “Sol, let me tell you this much: You will never make a dime as a model.”

His words were blows to my stomach. At that point a had a choice to either be a victim just like the old days out in the playground or be empowered by the situation.  I decided to interpret his statement as a challenge and let’s just say that I have now made a lot of dimes as a model.

But the point is that the beauty I always longed for laid imperfectly before my eyes… in every single trait that the woman in the mirror possessed.

What was flawed was my thinking. I chased perfection and it led to some dark roads. When I stopped chasing, I came face to face with the truth.

See, being in the industry, I quickly realized that photographers, designers, and the general public, hardly ever want to stare at perfection.

It is usually the people with unusual physical characteristics that are the most sought after. Consumers are more likely to hold their gaze longer on a magazine page that pictures a woman with alienesque traits and in a contorted position.

The beauty is in the flaws.

Here’s the thing- Perfection is boring.

Dated_Fotor

Maybe you aren’t chasing physical perfection in your life, but perhaps, you are setting false expectations of perfection in your work or personal life. Maybe you are hard on yourself because by now you should have already be doing this or should have already done that.  You may even be expecting someone in your life to be perfect.

This notion of perfection has the power to drag you deeply and quickly into a rabbit hole.

Perfection is illusive and while chasing it, you may be missing out on the true beauty of life.  The beauty that lies right in front of your eyes.

Allow life to flow and trust that things are perfect as they are.

“Strive for progress not perfection”

– unknown

Let the Universe do it’s beautiful thing and remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

 

Tons of love,

Sol

2 Comments

  • Hunter

    Reply Reply March 15, 2017

    Interesting the first thing I thought when I saw those first modeling photos was ‘perfection.’ Then after reading further I come to realize my definition of beauty and perfection are very different from what people think perfection means (so the flaw seems to be in their heads about what perfection, or even beauty means). It is all about ‘completeness’ for me (or ‘got it together’ is another way to look at it, though not as accurate in my reasoning).

    You look like a whole/complete person being yourself(wether you realize you are at the time or not, but seeing as how you thought of yourself on first seeing them I think so!)that’s textbook or archaic definition of perfect (complete/uniquely it’s own entity/thing/etc and no other exactly the same exists, etc) especially by word origin/original/natural meaning. #shrug thanks for some confirmation bias I was starting to worry I might be wrong xD

    • solballard

      Reply Reply April 12, 2017

      Aw well thanks for the compliment, Hunter! And as the years have passed, I’ve learned to see beauty and perfection very differently. I like your idea of “completeness” I hadn’t thought of it like that before. Thanks for stopping by! Come hang here whenever you like.

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